My Head Is…Empty

Autumn and Cayden (not to be confused with Kaidan)

Guys. This is weird. For the first time in four years, my head is empty. There is no story banging around. No characters shouting. No plot forking out in obscure directions (or not forking out at all and making me insane). No steamy smooching scenarios.

Nothing. And that is okay. Temporarily.
I am taking the summer off from writing. I will be reading published books, for fun, for the first time in a while. In fact, I have quite a list, and I’m looking forward to it!
But still…it’s really strange not to have a story trying to work itself out in my mind. I feel slightly lost and stripped bare or something. 
As far as writing goes I’m not able to devise stories at will. I cannot sit down and brainstorm or write an outline. Either the story comes to me out of nowhere and completely takes over my mind, or it doesn’t. My bestie is a very prolific writer. When NA became popular she was like, “Ooh, that sounds fun! I think I want to write an NA!” And within a week she had a solid idea. I have no idea how she does that. I’m in awe. 


​People ask me all the time to write scenes from Kai’s point of view, but I can’t force it. The two scenes I did write had flooded my brain long before I agreed to put them on paper. Kai wouldn’t shut his sexy mouth. And I love when that happens. I really do. 

The thing is, it’s probably good that I don’t have a story to tell at this moment. I really, really need to focus on my children this summer. They get shafted when it comes to my time. Half the time when we’re together, I’m on the computer, and let’s be real. I’m not paying much attention to them, and they know it. I simply do not have enough “child free” time to get all my work done (roughly 10 hours a week), so it leaks into my time with them.
One night a couple months ago, after I’d put my (then 6-year-old) daughter to bed, she came in and asked if I could lay with her a little longer. I was right in the middle of writing. Naturally I tried to tell her no. Tried to tell her I was working. And I can still remember the pained look on her face when she said, “What’s more important, Mommy? Work or the people you love?”

Autumn, age 7

She really said that!! And she was serious, not trying to be manipulative as far as I could tell. It was definitely a stab to the heart. So I closed my laptop and snuggled my girl, replaying those words over and over in my head. 

She’s seven now. My son is four and a half. They are the only two people in the world who truly NEED me. I don’t want to miss their childhood. I want this summer with them. I want to focus on every tiny detail and soak it all in while I can.
I will still be on Twitter and Facebook, answering emails and keeping in touch. I just won’t be writing, blogging, or beta reading until school starts back in the fall. At that point it’s my hope that a story will bombard me. Something wicked and sexy and daring and delicious. I don’t want the storyboard of my mind to be blank forever. Just the next eight to ten weeks. And then Kai, or some equally hott character, can burst to life and have their way with my hands. Because I love writing for you, and I can’t wait to give you more.

But for now, this is what I plan to do. Oh, and maybe I’ll clean the house a bit more. I’m sure my hardworking husband would love that, lol. I don’t know. We’ll see.

To all my “Sweeties” out there, have a wonderful summer. Enjoy your books. Enjoy your families.

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Hug